As much as I love Bill Hicks and his timeless acidic ingenious stand-up routines, I now have the urge to find his grave site, exhume the remains, bring him back to life and then blow his brains out with a 9mm Uzi. He’d approve of course, it was a weapon he often mentioned in his rants.
I’ve just spent the last few days watching the latest
documentary on Hicks. It’s called AMERICAN:
The Bill Hicks Story. It’s a great watch.
Until this film, I knew Hicks was a genius comic and a
comic genius. I knew it was a tragedy that he died so young. He had so much to
give the world blah blah. I knew all that.
What I didn’t know was the personal stuff. And as his
personal life unfolds alongside the work itself, there is this inevitable point
where you just turn off the DVD player and take a deep breath and realize that
Hicks was possibly the most uncompromising artist of the twentieth century… who
had something important to say… and who was a decent generous human being to
top it off!
If you have a hunch that you’re living a compromised
life, watch this film. It’ll convince you wholeheartedly… that you’re living a
compromised life.
I loved Hicks. But now…??? He’s made me look at myself
even more than I already do. And trust me, there’s already a level of over
saturated self-analysis going on here.
OK so it was my choice to watch a compelling and
lovingly made biography on someone who at 14 had the balls to sneak out and go
perform stand-up comedy at an adult open-mic comedy club in downtown Houston
(with his best buddy).
At 14, I snuck out with a friend and saw a late
screening of David Cronenberg’s VIDEODROME at an art house cinema across town. Okay
if I’m going to be totally honest, I didn’t technically ‘sneak out’ at all. I
was up front with my parents (ie. I begged them). They permitted me and my
friend to go, as long as we were chaperoned by two older (17 year old) boys.
At 18, Bill Hicks said goodbye to his family and trekked
out to LA to see if he could make it as a comic. His parents were sad to see
him go but they didn’t stop him and they didn’t give him any guilt trip about
it.
At 18, I trekked off to university on a daily basis to
do a course I despised and didn’t even comprehend. Most of my friends spent
that year away on an overseas adventure. I willingly chose to NOT expand my
horizons and do a course I knew was inherently wrong resulting in a slow but
effective systematic destroying of my soul. My decision was based on fear and
guilt. Simple.
The list could go on but I’d have to refer to my Hicks
bio (Agent of Evolution by his
friend Kevin Booth) and Google and the documentary to work out exactly what
Hicks did at what age because I’m a stickler for accuracy. I don’t have the
patience to do that.
Yeah I know, I know. Hicks had a troubled rocky life.
Alcoholism, drugs etc. Sure so what? Should that make me feel better, that he
wasn’t perfect? Who the hell is? He got through all that anyway and it made him
an even better person and a better comic. And then at 31 he gets the big cancer
diagnosis that fucked everything.
The now infamous omission of Hicks’ appearance on
Letterman’s then fresh Late Show on CBS in 1993 became a seriously fucked up
episode in Hicks’ life and career. He was genuinely shocked at how the
corporate powers had shut him down to protect their interest$. (Or was it the
producers or was it Dave himself??) He wasn’t just shocked but hurt. Even from
the man whose stand-up routines had so often brought these types of hypocrisies
to light. No he wasn’t naïve to this sort of thing, but hell, was he shocked
when they pulled it on him, and in such a harsh way. You might say that CBS was
uncompromising in their own way from their perspective.
Hicks was very disturbed by the Letterman fiasco and
spent a lot of time discussing it in interviews and re-producing the omitted
routine during his live sets at clubs. Kind of like how Lenny Bruce became
obsessed and consumed with his obscenity trials and making them part of his
performances. Actually that comparison is a tad wonky. Bruce sadly became banal
and boring in his obsessive courtroom transcript detailing – Hicks NEVER got
boring.
Letterman invited Hick’s mother on to his show in 2009
in a bizarre type of symbolic-apology-gesture re the way Hicks was treated back
in 1993. As Letterman explains that he was solely responsible for what occurred
and that it was an error in judgment mostly due to his own insecurity, the
studio audience laughs as though he’s joking. It’s really weird viewing. I
can’t decide how genuine or not Letterman is being. It’s a hard call. Some
cynics suggest it was quite calculated to ride the wave of Hicks’ popularity
resurgence… maybe. Decide for yourself and don’t forget to watch all 3 clips:
(part 1 of 3)
There are levels of compromise. Hicks was just one of
those pure freakish talents that set a benchmark and NOBODY has been able to
reach it since. He was offered a spate of product endorsement deals as his fame
grew. He declined all of them.
Check this out if you want to hear his take on celebrity
endorsements (in particular his old supporter Jay Leno):
What to do?
Find your truth and live by it. Fully. Ah ha! Easy to
write in a blog. Easy to say in conversation. But easy to do?
It’s obvious that Hicks is confronting to those he
critiqued. But it’s even more interesting to realize that he’s possibly more
confronting to those who agree with what he’s saying. Through his saying, he
was DOING. By listening to his words, laughing and agreeing that he was a
genius……. Is that enough? Is that all we’re meant to do?
I loved Hicks. Now I love him even more.
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